Have you ever loved someone you never met?
This is an interesting question, isn’t it? Because the requirement seems to be that you need to meet and see the person before you love him or her, – or not. There need to be some sort of chemistry, one would say.
The full truth is that regardless circumstances or our environment, there are definitely people around the world with whom we could connect, and at such a different level perhaps, -that this would be in full harmony with both the 2 natures involved…True, – IF the allowing of this feeling could be realised in a day-to-day reality, so to say… But for sure, you can’t judge this before you have met this person, – and met for some time perhaps. But this is not about loving someone you never met, but about the human potential to love mote people if the realities would be different or if the realities would allow. This not take away that you can already love someone by connecting on a “relationship website” without ever having met the person. But that’s more a reflection of someone’s own energies connecting with the picture of someone else. The actual meeting though could be a disaster.
But often this is not the case because neither the real “allowing of the feeling” can be always there -nor the real life situation, where one can meet up with the other to build up bit by bit the friendship. The last being required the least, – as let’s say a first step. Connecting via a “relationship website” is somehow of a different nature, and one does rarely run into straightaway meeting without a bit more preparation.
Not to speak about people we never met in different entities than “relationship websites” etc, the last being an entirely different story…Falling in love in that first instance as such seems not possible. But perhaps not everyone agrees on this one. And sure, – stories are nice to share, isn’t it?.. Even when there is a lot of fiction and fantasy involved.
By the way at times this can be quite funny.
But who cares, – we are free in this domain of our mind and heart where we may have dreams, fantasies or imaginations, – whether we feed them or not. But be aware on what you do with the “feeding” and whether or not we “bring it out”. This is different than “having a crush” on someone you have seen but not actually met, as yet.
There is nothing secret or unusual about those feelings, because at times they are a reality. At some extent it’s part of our human nature. The beauty is that people can mean a lot to you, even if you don’t know them, even if you have never met them. And for sure you don’t need to be in love with them because the last is a different entity, – so to say. The fact that unknown people can mean a lot to you can be an enrichment of your own nature through the colours and the energy being transmitted to your own life..or energies revived in yourself due to influences which are hard to express in words. And this is mainly the issue when we want to touch base on, because falling in love with someone you never met is only a reflection on your self and is not founded in “the knowing” of each other because the last aspect is absent. But still this is possible with your “hero” in life when you were e.g. young, man or woman being admired, loved, cherished on a distance. It’s the kind of love which has by far not always to do with sexual attraction. Often it has not, though attraction and fascinating of a different kind plays definitely a role.
What it is, I don’t know. What the power of love is, – I don’t know. The power of attraction in a broader sense. At times perhaps the impressions we get, even though they might be very limited, – may appeal somehow to the better things in ourselves.
From the perspective of potential partners anywhere on the world, we may agree that there is for everything and everyone only one place and occasion at the same time and that it is fairly pointless to pursue a wide spectrum on opportunities in this domain, unless there are valid reason, – which if for everyone’s own judgment. Matters can get a bit complicated here.
Does this make any sense at all?
Where it comes to keeping things for yourself, which has an energy and power on it’s own.
If well-preserved – it is one of the larger mysteries in life where the power gets broken if disclosed, or when disclosed too early where it should perhaps not be disclosed.
It is possibly a very unusual comparison, – but the power of the biblical Samson got lost when his hair was cut, – but when his hair grew he was stronger than ever before.
When we try to express some of our past or present secrets in reality, – we could damage ourselves and lose more than we ever possessed perhaps. In other words some of the powers get lost. In search of the good and the majestic things in life – thoughtfulness is always a process.
Once Samson disclosed his secret he was lost. They took “the mickey” out of him. In other words, it is not always wise to show what is going on in your heart,  because keeping secret some of your larger secrets may enhance your humanity and the enhancement of your humanity very sometimes is a lonely process. This is the domain in which “pure creativity” to work it all out needs to be allowed in your own little universe. This is what life asks you to do with authenticity, at times. For everything there is a time and a place, indeed.
What I say seems to be a supreme scenario, – I know. It does not always work this way and people are different. But for all of this, there is no harm in those feelings, it depends what you do with it.
How does all this happen?
Obviously I am not really sure, but I assume that in the channelling of both our energies and awareness, we pick up (at times) both elements from the physical and non-physical world. The existence (or reality part) is not always that essential, but when we are fortunate enough and channelling the right direction, through the grace of God, we may use it for the purpose being designed for both the better of our human nature and that of others. Makes a bit sense?
In my “last will and testament” I wish to show that I loved lots of people for those reasons in my life – and I am grateful what they meant to me and what they gave me during receptive moments in my being. Some people I knew, others I did not know at all. Some live in my lifetime, others did not live in my lifetime. But always there was the transmission of some mysterious energy, which appealed to my inner-nature and made what I became, – still a “work in progress”. But often I kept quiet about it to protect myself.
As mentioned , sometimes it is better not show the secrets of your heart, at least not on the specifics, allowing as such not the rejection and scrutiny of others. But “giving way” to the free flow of the unspeakable in the increased receptiveness of your nature, seems at times a better way. The last finding its meaning in various creative identities of your life.
Again, – I need to ask whether this makes sense, as it may work different for others.
But as human beings there is more we share than we don’t share.
For sure this is more difficult when you are really in love with someone and it seems all impossible. But within the larger gift of life you may see this as one of the dimensions which could exist in different identities elsewhere as well, – and you don’t need to be absorbed by one “dead end” because being in love, as such, is a reflection on yourself in one particular situation. Which is being allured to one particular attraction, as perceived in someone else. It simply is not reality. And the last has nothing to say about how it would work out in a real life situation. Mind you, you better be careful if you have those feelings at times because if you disclose this to the person of attraction, and you don’t know each other at all, – you will be considered, the least, as very foolish, – and for sure it will fall on “deaf ears”..For everything there is a place and a time and timing if it comes to the manifestation of desires is needless to say very important, but that’s a different story.
If this is the case you need to get to know yourself a bit better and use common sense. If you know yourself better you know you don’t want to do to others what others should not do to you, at the wrong time and at the wrong place.
In the inter-connection with people in life though, there is – as well – much we may not understand. But the beauty is we don’t always need to understand as both the mystery and curiosity are still allowed to have a place in life. And that is the fun, the cherish the magic and the wonders.
Things come to our awareness by what we see and hear in other people, and the last at times only in retrospect, – when we have time for ourselves connecting with the broader sense and awareness of nature.
The way we may interconnect with each other in the very best possible way is more like “a sacred bonding” as it shows us how to forgive when we need to forgive. It shows us how to give to one another’s well-being. It shows us compassion and understanding. It may show us affection of a different nature, when we see things not being right and try to correct it. It has to do with the better way of showing justice as well, – in a broader sense.
In my life I cherish the people who brighten my day through the seen and the unseen, whether they live nearby or far away, regardless, at times, – whether I know them or don’t know them at all. It sounds weird perhaps and not many people may relate to me on this one but it’s just me, the way I embrace life as it is, – accepting both the possible and the impossible. Many people as such leave an “echo” with me and some, – just this way , are very dear to me as there is much warmth in it, without those people even realising this themselves. And that’s fine!..
At times they live in entirely different circumstances far away, amidst poverty, – and in the way they deal with things they “sparkle” as a mystery. Some people as such are unique in the integrity of their own identity from which we only see part of it, – but enough to appreciate their inner-being which shines through this. And we don’t know them at all, – interesting isn’t it?.
If I would express this the way I wished to do at times, my gratitude would be very poorly understood. Mind you what their perception would be on me. I fear it would spoil it for once and for all, as we live in totally different identities of awareness.
I can only hope I work the same this way for some others perhaps as they do for me, and for sure, – I don’t need to know, as sometimes it is better to leave this to the funny and precious secrets of life.
Discipline and direction in our day to day connections are far more important.
And mind you, allow your imagination to play similar as characters evolve in films, – like they do this in ourselves at times. The editing is part of a spontaneous process through the in-depth involvement we already have with ourselves and some others. All this is already provided in our upbringing until now, and through the experiences we have and had. We get better as people when each time we surf the waves of our emotions the right way, – both for ourselves and for others. Not allowing us to be blind-folded in scenes which are not practical.
If you want to reach out for a better connection with others, be aware that the circumstances and perceptions of people can be hugely different than yours, and that improvisation as such is based on both respect and being receptive for what is going at the other side.
There might as well be the cultural restrictions of marriage, but the connections with others perhaps should not be restricted where we connect with the better part of ourselves in others. There where we can add value to each other as part of our normal humanity, the last finding its way in the world. There is neither harm in any value, nor is there any value in any harm.
The last is an interesting one as where people cheat they are dishonest and being dishonest often brings harm. The question on the moral spectrum of what is harmful and not harmful has a variety of dimensions, including and not restricted to showing affection, being tender and kind, apart from embracing and kissing each other.
For myself I do consider any genuine and mutual show of affection being normal as part of close encounters where you trust each other.
Cheating is when you don’t watch the distinction between being loving in character and making love as part of a sexual relationship. The last in circumstances where it would be far better to refrain from this. For sure, as said earlier, – there are many potential partners on this world but it is pointless to pursue any if there is no valid reason, – because so much harm can be done as well. Existing love for one can’t be replaced by a potential love for an other person, – even when we have the capacity to “bring it on”. Even though there are more scenario’s possible, – harm reduction is difficult to meet if our conditioning is not wired up for the best compassion for others. It is not an easy one for many, but wisdom for the few.
When you are really committed in friendship you simply don’t cheat. People carrying trust and trustworthiness close to their heart simply don’t cheat, as gifted – hopefully – in wisdom perhaps, they know that real love lasts far longer than making love, and that the last often ends the friendship in which perhaps much has been invested for possibly good reasons.
If people are married and it proved already it did not work and it has been discussed already open and candid, – there might be a grey area which is not up to me to judge , as I haven’t this experience as such.
When we really care in authentic ways, neither being pretentious nor imposing our perceptions on others, – we may embrace the concept of love in unassuming ways wherever we go in this world. The last with the distinction that real love has far greater dimensions because it is an impression from the Universe, through which the earth and all what lives has been created, – not by chance but for a purpose.
Our humanity may grow through the real humanity of others and with certain restrictions, there are no rules or regulations for this purpose being still in progress, – which includes love in a broader sense.
In essence our humanity is deeply inter-connected. As always it is as important to be able to listen and to be listened to. It keeps you fresh and alive. If we are able to free up ourselves “in the osmosis of life”, we can find up a way in the connection with other people, more meaningful and in line with what humanity requires us to work on to get to the next stage.
In terms of film making – by comparison – we may end that the right actor for a particular role is perhaps not the very best actor. Likewise the right person in a relationship is perhaps not always the greatest partner, – and the right partner in a business entity is not always the best person.
And finally the best love affair is for certain not always the best friendship, – whilst the best friendship is not always the best love affair.
For all of this, surfing the soul on any implications is the best manifestation in inter-humane creativity, – as the better outcome is always harm reduction. Rather, perhaps, than self-destruction through inflicted trauma, betrayal, deception to others..
Good friendships last, – ”love-affairs” rarely last.
This is reality!
Therefore finding the right distinctions in the many dimensions of love, is an art worth to be mastered as it seems dead easy, – but it is easily dead as well.
Why?
The last because relations can make you, – but they can break you as well. And there is already enough being broken, both in life and relationships.
With real friends you rehearse and rehearse until you get better as friends, – regardless time place or age. And in all this you can find your own VOICE, – your unique identity as well..
The quality of our humanity is at the cornerstone of any good friendship or a better connection. Relationship means relating to each other, and caring for each other, – and not being careless to one and other. It means healing wounds and not creating wounds.
Friendship is not about knowing everything from each other, but enough not to tell each other what he or she thinks, but providing him or her direction and help which way might be the best way to go at times, – the last only if required, – the last at times if requested.
If you create the right stuff on which people may “turn on” in the best possible way, – for sure you are starting to be a good connection. And all this is part of inter-connecting and trans-personal conversations, – perhaps.
It is not about who is most “like me” or “not most like me”, – it is more about “on what you resonate” as a person in others, – and often you don’t even need to give it a name.
The last as providing a label to a variety of identities in this world, not rarely takes away the mystery on which things could evolve. If you love friendship to be endless, show it endless, without labels or discussing the identity as such, – because not doing as such “frees up” as much.
Last but not least, the last applies to marriage as well where this identity works the way it is supposed to work, – but the last might be different in the variety of cultures. Like connections and friendship do function at different levels among the colours of the various cultures as well.
Interesting, – isn’t?
Feel free to say what you like to say on this subject.
Thank you so much!
Paul Alexander Wolf
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We dream of things that never were and say: "Why not?" 